“What you create for you, no one can can take from you”
So if you’re reading this. ITS OFFICIALLY THEAFROCLUB.COM it has been a long time coming but I wanted to be completely committed to my blog and my content and the future of whatever The Afro Club is! Starting this when I was 19 now I’m 21 and this is my 21st post
I realized that I had a different passion really young I would say. I think I viewed being a girl or woman with a lot of pride and around 3rd grade I started to notice that. I didn’t want to just be a pretty girl or be seen or where the title of seen and not heard. I wanted to play and have fun regardless of being female. I used to get so caught up in myself all the time and once I got some headphones on with my little CD player with Survivor by Destiny’s Child blasting while I rode my bike it was like the world around me didn’t exist. I remember one time I was riding in front of my grandmother’s house caught up in my world as usual riding fast and hard not very “ladylike” . My Momma said “People think your wild you need to tone it down some, don’t play so rough”. In my head I was like “what the hell did I do I’m chilling.” I was a rough little chick most of the time. I yelled, I would fight the boys, wore the basketball shorts but I was super feminine at the same time. I couldn’t find the balance or find something that kept me calm and not so angry all the time. But the perception that I wasn’t behaving like a “regular girl” sort of stuck. So I kept finding myself in those same situations where I was just too rough for my own good. By the time I got to middle school I was done going outside and I was just trying to stay out of the way and avoid situations that would make me angry. But when you are a person who likes to be mad you will find yourself looking to be mad everywhere.
I still am that rough little girl deep down inside but as an adult I had to find ways to get caught up in my own world in a productive and peaceful way. I started creating from writing, gardening, painting, and cooking. I wanted to become a person that could redirect my thoughts into something that makes me happy and brings me joy. I wanted my energy to change completely. It took about a decade and I’m only 21 and I have ways to go and I slip up sometimes. There are times that I’ll let my anger get the best of me but I’m also only human. But in the past if something got to me I was angry for awhile and I had to basicaly developed an energy about myself to put a definite end to being upset. It’s not a real process that I learned from anyone but it works for me. The first thing I do is put my feet up when I find myself getting overwhelmingly angry. I kick back and close my eyes and I CHILL OUT. If I feel like I bombed a test and I’m mad about it I’ll sit in the quad and put my feet up on the bench and relax. I take back whatever positive energy was taken from me. One of my favorite things to do is just to start speaking. Words are powerful and its all about how you use them I really got into poetry in college from NAACP but when I’m on stage speaking my truth or conveying my truth there is positive effects of that and it calms me to my core. Poetry has the power to empower you and you get so much strength back delivering. Reading Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur was one of the most inspirational pieces I have read in my life and whenever I recite some pieces from the book that I feel that power that I may have lost in myself returns. Planting is a recent but old thing in my life that I use to calm myself down or to feel a peace back in myself. There is nothing more beautiful than creating and developing life. Planting gives you that feeling without having to have a child lol. On a serious note planting in essence is a quiet impact on your soul. Reading of course is my first love above all but it’s a way to get back in your head without being stuck there. Reading has allowed me to live hundred of thousands lives and adventures that I wouldn’t be able to go on. Painting above all is one of the few things that give me my energy and allows me to keep it up because it’s steady. It’s simple. It’s creating something that the only other image there is exactly like it is in my head. My sacred place where my energy can be creative, uninterrupted and positive. Emotions are natural but when certai emotions are being displayed more than others you have to figure out comfortable ways to regualte them. I struggle with being mad and going off the deep end and the next day not being able to go back to my “normal self”. It’s all about keeping that same energy throughout your emotions. Ultimately you have to reclaime your emotions and not let them consume you.
“You have got to lose your mind just to find your peace of mind.”