“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”
I have been thinking about what my newest blog post should be about. I liked some of it but truthfully between work, school and mundane situations that I’ve let over power my life. With all that aside I thought I would share a new journey that I am embarking on. 21 Days of me living my life shamelessly. I find that I hide who I really am to protect this false image that I’ve created of myself. I am losing what makes me unique to fit in. I am becoming shameful of things that I have always taken pride in.
21 Days of freedom from the pressure that I put on myself. 21 Days of reaching a peace of mind. Today I received my new crystals. I originally had six beautiful crystals but today I have added fourteen beautiful crystals to my collection. I didn’t get a chance to take pictures of them but you’ll see them soon. I’ll talk more about my crystals and what I use them for later…. a lot later stay until then end.
Today I am shamelessly focusing on meditation. I have developed a love for yoga over the last few years. But in the recent months it has become a full on passion. The problem is I never had the complete courage to just grab my mat and do yoga alone in the park. It’s something that I have been dying to do. I would do it in front of my apartment but only when I was sure no one was watching. I wanted to grab my speaker with some nice neo-soul classics and just stretch my limbs towards serenity. During yoga you feel this pleasant stillness and your mind becomes empty while focusing only on your body and your breathing.
Breathing for me is important because one thing I’ve noticed about myself is that when I am tense I don’t breathe properly. I will hold in my breath and focus so much of my energy on whatever it is that’s causing me stress. I clench my hands and that’s when I can physically feel my stress. That’s what scares me the most about my stress sometimes I won’t know where it comes from so I try to make it physical. I will bite my cheek or on some extreme cases I will legit clench my teeth down so hard.
This is where my crystals come to play. Crystals are physical elements from the earth that I can hold and see. They possess properties depending on what they are that I can focus my energy into. I have a carnelian stone and carnelian crystals has properties that allow you to focus and allow for better decision-making.
The amethyst stone is all about inner calm and is known for being a mediation stone. I usually keep them close by while I mediate I may place a few out just to feel their presence. I will hold one close to my chest and during this time I focus not only on God but the Earth. During mediation especially after on stress I have to focus on keeping myself grounded. My spiritual life is present throughout mediation and the crystals help me understand how close I need to be with Earth and God. Through stress when I touch during mediation it’s like signal: Okay, Cameron yes you have a lot on your plate but you are human. You are a smaller being on this earth and whatever is stressing you out is so much smaller than what you are.
But that’s how meditations helps me really I have learned that the way I try to rationalize my stress is by making it physical is ridiculous and unkind to myself. By combating something mental like stress with something equally as mental like meditation. And I don’t always use crystals sometimes I burn an essintial oil or fragrance oil to ground me to certain pleasent memories to guide my meditation.
Stress and mediation both have the same power if you allow it to. With stress if you allow these circumstances and situations in life to cause you stress then you’ll be stressed. With mediation if you can’t open your mind and clear it then what’s the point?
This is my first day of living “shamelessly” and what I can say about that is I figured out why I am so unkind to myself when it comes to stress. While mediating my mind was empty and when I came up from my mediation it was clear as day. It’s natural to be stressed out but what is unnatural is letting the stress continue to consume my life. And for you reading this if you are stressed it’s okay. Take a moment and think about the situation. Feel what your body is doing. Now un-clench your body and breathe. Just breathe. I know from today that I will continue to check myself and breathe through my stress. It won’t rid me of stress but if I can just breathe through it for the next 20 days and forever I can stress becoming an emotion and not a state of being for myself.
I came to the bright idea that today my shameless revelation is that being shameless is about more than expressing myself. It’s about caring for myself and being kind to myself mentally. But here I am day one peaking through the lenses of what could be me.